Everyday Etiquette with Kristi Spencer: Pizza Topping Snafu

Question:

I had two guests over, and we decided to order pizza. I asked our guests what kind of pizza they liked. I’m not picky about pizza toppings, except for onions, I just can’t. My guests said they didn’t mind them, so when I ordered the pizza, I ordered half supreme with onions and half without. When the pizza arrived, my guests dug into the side without onions, which I thought was rude, especially after I had tried to accommodate everyone’s needs. I didn’t say anything, but I’ll think twice about our next pizza night.  

Answer:

I hate to hear your pizza date fell flat, but it does give me a chance to talk about a bigger etiquette theme, and that’s assuming good intent.  

I think it’s very possible your dinner mates weren’t paying attention to which side of the pizza they were eating from. Pizza is a casual meal, so people may have simply grabbed a slice without stopping to think about exactly what's on it.  

I’m also not sure you were accommodating their needs, despite your good intentions. Your guests never actually requested onions, so while you were trying to give them what you thought they wanted, they may not have viewed the onion side of the pizza as “their side” in the first place. And with three people sharing one pizza, we’re thinking thirds rather than halves, which means at least a little encroachment on the onion-free territory was inevitable.  

You didn’t mention whether you explained the pizza order before the delivery, but if not, that may have helped prevent the issue. You can always say something in the moment, too, like, “Please save me a piece or two without onions.”

I vote for giving your friends another chance, and I hope your next pizza night is free from misunderstandings and onions.  

Kristi Spencer is an etiquette coach and the founder of The Polite Company. She is a certified business etiquette instructor and a graduate of the Emily Post Institute.

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